Integrate

I look. I see. Bare truth. Strpped of all pretences and illusions.
It is raw. But amazingly beautiful.
Blinding with its brilliance.
Beyond any reason or knowledge conceivable in the mind.
When you see that it is very hard to keep living in the maya. To keep constructing the illusions and deceive yourself.
It becomes impossible.

I look. I see. The world we live in. What one may call reality. It's subjective. It is deceiving. It is always slipping and slithering and creating doubts. It blinds, it hurts sometimes.
It makes me wanna run away and cry sometimes.

The answer is not to run away.
The answer is to force myself to see.
To understand.
To break through the illusion and reach for the truth.
Not so I can hide in it.
But so I can integrate.
So I can bridge the gap that separates my reality and the ultimate truth.
To bring it forth.
To manifest it.
Not to find heaven and lock myself in it.
But to bring heaven on earth.
Ultimate truth into this dimension.

Freedom

Freedom is not something we can escape into, reach by the means of running away, or attain by fighting an outside adversary.
Freedom is the deepest, most authentic side of ourselves, expressed and lived truly in the hardest of cirumstances.
Freedom is not overcoming our fears, but truly embracing and understanding them and laughing in the face of that which we fear the most.
Freedom is not some unattainable mountain peak, or deserted island.
True liberation is the deepest place within you amidst illusionary the chains of reality.
Courage is living that freedom not for our own sake but for the ones around who are still dreaming of running away.

Pain

The purpose of life is not to end suffering. It is to realize it never existed but in your own mind.
Don't avoid the pain or mitigate it, don't deny it.
Take it, feel it, look at it examine it closely, get passionate about it and taste it fully.
And when every fiber of your body is vibrating with pain so fully you are about to desintegrate into it hold it.
Look it straight in in the eye and own it.
And then release it- laughing with joy, experiencing every moment of it and the lesson it teaches you, fill it up with the ecstasy of the journey, let it rush through you as the greatest cosmic orgasm and enjoy it to the last bit.
Let it linger, in your mouth, in your hair and your fingertips, in the smell on the crease of your neck.
Integrate into your being, not as your suffering but as your blessing.
Your pain is a part of you, don't suffer it.
Love it passionately.

Death

"To fear death is not to live. You cannot live unless you are willing to die. Only by letting go you can allow life in. Otherwise, you are stiff, rigid and uptight- really dead"

Voyager Tarot
XIII Death

Rejoice

Suffering has always been an option.
Suffering is allowing the circumstances
to bring me down,
to discourage me
turn my reality to despair.
Suffering is allowing the pain to overwhelm me,
darkness to overpower me.
Suffering is my attachment to my ego
My ego which thinks it's important
Suffering no longer serves me.
I cannot change the circumstances
I don't want to change who I am.
I don't want to change my world
I want to turn it upside down
I am to laugh at despair
Stare that pain in the eye
And find it amusing
I am to let go
Of that notion
Attachment
Belief
The importance
I am to laugh at the ego that suffers
The torture of being important
Rejoice in that laughter

No light at the end of the tunnel

Don't let circumstances limit you. 

Live your truth the fullest regardless.

And when the going gets tough

keep walking in your own path  

in your own truth

do not veer in other directions 

or try to walk into someone's footsteps

For only your own truth can take you to the other side.

There is no light at the end of the dark,

No secret to finding the way

other than you are your own light

making your way out of the darkness 

and into eternal love.

Prayer

Fill me up with love
I want no more hatred and anger and fear
Heal me
I want no more judgement and prejudice
In my heart
Fill me up with love
And let me share
With every other being
Let me love like you do
Without the shadow of doubt
Without condition
Heal me
Fill me up with love