Witness me

Don't say you are sorry

Don't let pity falter your gaze

I need no compassion

No comforting or advice

Just a place to sit 

With my darkness

and hear

its whispers

Allow me  a moment of weakness

that doesn't define me

Hold me

Just hold me

While I weep  rivers of  tears

Wail at the moon

And curse my own decisions

Meet me when I am down 

and don't feel sorry for me. 

Hold me

Not with compassion

or sadness

But with Joy

That you can be here with me. 

Meet me in Rapture,

With Devotion to Life 

to counter the Death in me

See me as I am

Broken and hungry

For Presence

Lonely, defiant and naked

tormented and blind to the world

of desire and judgement

Witness me

In my darkest place

Where my anguish

is the same as  yours,

Where my pain is no longer mine

But the weight of Humanity

Taken off of my shoulders. 

Meet me 

not as another

but as a part of me

embracing me

welcoming me home.

Hold me while I break free

Hold me while I break down

Share my breath 

And quietly witness my tears

They run 

Not because something is wrong

But because I am walking

Out of my prison

And I need to release my sorrow. 

Hold me while I break down 

Help me pick up the pieces 

Walk with me in the forest of fog

Where I get lost

Seeking a path

Never walked before

While I search for me 

Hold me 

Not with your arms

But your presence

Your sweet smile

And never ending song

Creating a home for me

A safe space

Where my tears are welcome

Where my pain is not all alone
My reverence received

Hold me in your heart

So I know what family feels like

So I  Feel I am Home 

Hold me

With your eyes

With your essence

Your own darkness

Rising up to meet mine

Hold me while I break down

Hold me while I break free. 

Be Human with me

Meet me where I am not where you want me to be.

See me as I am and not as who you want me to be. 

Love me as I am and not as you want me to be. 

Meet me when I am down and don't feel sorry for me, just hold me while I release my sorrow and until I Am ready to look up again.

See me at my worst. As the person I don't want to be and reflect to me that which I truly am so that I may be guided by my own light. 

Love me for who I am, love me for my darkness and all my imperfections. 

Don't try to fix me or heal me, just hold sacred space for me to search into the depths of who I truly am. 

Don't go looking for the grand things in my life and my greatest suffering and pain. 

Meet my gaze and hold it steady while I go through the daily frustrations, reminding me to breathe, reminding me to be present. 

Be human with me. Share words that have no meaning but touch the darkest, most forgotten corners of my soul. 

Share smiles and hold me while tears roll down my eyes. 

Be human with me. Forget that which makes sense and explore the Mystery, that which has not been seen yet. It is only for my eyes and yours. 

Don't ask me to show you who I am. Because I don't know. I am discovering it with you. 

Be present with me. See me. Really see me. Allow me to be witnessed. And allow me to bear witness of your own humanity. Of your own presence. 

Be human with me. Let me show you my heart and you can show me yours. 

Let's walk together, hand in hand into the dreamy forest and find together that we have been collectively dreaming and that which we thought is,has never been and that which we thought an impossible mystery is staring us straight in the eyes. 

BE with me

Human Experience: Unravelling

I invite in my life new vibrations, stripped of labels, judgements and opinion, stripped of purpose other than to open me  beyond my current  limitations.

I hope to fall in the cracks  between definitions, absolutes, and social roles and loose all that I foolishly believe I have, unlearn everything I mistakenly believe I know.

I invite experiences that strip my layers and pride, that make me look foolish in my own eyes and deprive me of my own self importance.

I look forward to new challenges. Ones  that will teach me to fall and nurture my wounds and see the world from down below, from that sensitive place full of embarrassment and disappointment.

I promise to get lost more often, for in those spaces I see glimpses of my true self.

I attract into my life new manifestations of energy, not right or wrong, not good or bad but teaching me to Love fully, without holding back.

I invite into my life human beings, those I have walked with in this lifetime and those who I am yet to come upon. It is the connection with another spirit that makes this walk worthwhile.

For those souls who have already touched my earthly experience, I hope you will come closer. I humbly pray to be able to see you with fresh eyes, free of judgement and prejudice; not carrying the weight of the past and without feeding expectations of the future, simply sharing the Fire of the Present moment.

For those who I am yet to find, I promise to meet you with an open heart and open arms, offering Love and sacred space and asking for nothing in return but to witness and acknowledge you fully, as you are.

I vow to find joy in every moment and laugh at myself more often.

I invite teachers in my life, may they be new or familiar, people or situations, present or past, from which I can gather  experience and loose the roots of the identity I have so carefully constructed.

I invite new opportunities, joyous or sad, full or laughter or tears, opening me to the Magic of the Universe.

I stand open and vulnerable to the flow of the Universe, offering no judgements and having no expectations, simply walking through this humbling and beautiful human experience, one step at a time.

Time and Magic

I have been having a problem with time lately.
Actually I have been having a problem with time for a while but in the past few weeks it has become really urgent and palpable.
It's not the lack of the time I am talking about but the mental construct of time.
That linear, ever-eluding, never ending and always chasing very constricting notion of Time.
That concept of Time is literally crushing me.

I ardently hold the belief that there are two simultaneous dimensions of time we are experiencing at all times. Yet we get stuck in one and from there on arise all these problems of duality and constnt struggle.
There is the  way the body experiences time, which is aligned with the cyclical and infinite nature of our soul. And then there is the mental construct of time- the looking at the clock and making appointments, and counting years and minutes and hours that leaves us living with no time for anything.

When actively and passionately grounded in the Body/ Soul Time, I shall call it, the Mental clock stops. It simply cannot function, because  it has nothing to latch on. It is in those moments that we experience  the Magic. And if we pay attention, if we are actively present with every breath and every beat of the heart, we can fall through the cracks of time, for each moment, each heartbeat  is the doorway to untold dimension and magical universes.
Each moment holds in itself an infinite number of possibilities. If we only look into it with seeing eyes.
And each breath we take is a doorway to an unlimited number of alternative universes. Actually, alternative is not the right word, because they all exist, all the the same time, all living, breathing and pulsating, vibrant all the time.
The challenge is to be acutely in the moment to be able to feel all this pulsating and vibrating energy and to surrender to the illogical, nonlinear, cyclical, magical power of the present moment. Each and every moment. With each and every breath.

And herein lies my challenge. Once you have tasted the freedom of floating in the moment and being touched by that Universal Magic, the linear 3D reality becomes very flat and uninspiring. And because I still exist here. And because I still have to deal, day to day, with that intricate and complex machine in my cranial cavity, called the brain, I sometimes get stuck in there.
I get literally stuck in this linear, flat, bizarre 3D world, and it is like I have been put in a stray jacket and thrown into a cell too small to fit all of my feathers. So I twist and turn and squirm trying to squeeze my self out through a keyhole.
And I hear all these vibrating, pulsating multidimensional energies whispering  my name and calling me back into them.
And I have to think hard of all the tools I have been given to free myself from that cage- breath, movement, sound, dance, closing my eyes and surrendering....
The stuckness is just another opportunity to enter into another dimension. One, I have not gained access into yet, because of my own resistance and unwillingness to explore those parts of the psyche. Because I have not yet learned to surrender. Without a fight. Yes, fighting is easy because you have the resistance to push into and to give you the sense of doing something. Surrendering is passive. Non doing. The hardest lesson yet.
Surrendering into the uncomfortable is the only way in. Letting go of control, or the illusion of control. A scary thought.... may be because there is no way back from that one. And as enticing as that sounds, when you stand at the edge of the mountain that single step forward is a whole new dimension in itself.

Being Witnessed

Our greatest Desire is to be witnessed.
Our greatest Fear is of being witnessed.

We live in this persistent and beautiful dichotomy.
We, as humans, are the one and only contradiction in the Universe.
We are Oneness, yet we experience Duality.
We are Oneness, yet we are duality.

This is too much for the little human brain to process.
It sounds illogical, nonlinear and drastically unscientific.

Well, I say, Logic is faulty by default. You figure it out.
We exist. We Love, we unravel, we  die and return back to the source. Back to the beginning. Which,a s it turns out is not a beginning at all. It is also the end. And it is also the center. It is everything and it is all happening right NOW. This very moment.
Let your brain sit with that and chew on it.
See if you can figure it out.
You can't.
The problem is time and space. you can't reconcile the underlying ambiguity while taking into consideration time and space. You are looking into  an illusion. And you can't see the truth while you choose to look at the illusion.

There is no logic to what I am saying. I can't "prove" any of it. There is no algorithm, no mathematical equation or some sort of 4D pretty picture to make you understand what I am saying.
It simply has to be experienced.
The Chaos, the rapture, the lack of boundaries.
The feeling of understanding everything and unconditionally loving everything with its glorious flaws.
Getting lost into  the crevices and folds of another human being, who is also a being of Light. Bringing tears into the eyes of those who you care most deeply about, simply because you want them to soar free, just as you see them.
Wanting to hide behind your flaws and to be witnessed as all that you are.
Untangling and experiencing  the little slithering threads of the Universe, only to understand that it is one giant snake.
 And that it has come to eat you.
And that you are the Snake.

The Ultimate and complete surrender. Do you dare loose yourself? Only to attain  that which your soul yearns for. Freedom.Union. Communion. Melting in the fire, sinking in giant gentle wings.

Does any of that make sense?

Those of you who know, who have tasted it, know what I am speaking about.

Mirrors

Not so many moons ago, it became clear to me that everyone and everything we come upon in life serves as a mirror. It is help send from other dimension, to aid us find our way through this chaos.
Whatever we see in those arounds is usually a reflection of our own image, something we couldn't see on our own.
The reflection and the shadow are in this constant game of hide and seek, one aspect becomes clear just to obscure another. It's an endless spiral.
As we learn to play this game it becomes more.... I wouldn't say enjoyable, but may be more entertaining.  We make sense of  the rules, just to discover that they no longer apply. We think we have dealt with something, just to see it come up again with more power and more depth. Most importantly, we learn not to take it so personally and seriously and we gain new tools along the way. It's the game of Life- of light and shadow in us.

Somehow our human psyche is trained to the "ugliness" first, however. The harder lessons are the first we learn. We tend not to believe the good things so readily.
It is always easier to see the dark in us, to believe the bad, to assume we are undeserving and not worthy. It is a  habit to  notice and to mirror that in others.

We forget to look into the beautiful mirrors around us.
There are the mirrors that reflect the shadows- they show us the things we want to rid ourselves of.
Yet there are the mirrors of the Beauty in us. So much harder to notice and to say " I am That too". The mirrors than inspire us to be more of our true selves.
The mirrors that inspire us to continue walking this path, not going where it is going.
The mirrors that blind us with so much Love and Light. And we are that too.
Yes, there are those who help us see ourselves as we truly are- magnificent birds spiraling in Light.

So if you look around you and see beautiful people around you, beings that mesmerize and awe you with their beauty know that you are that as well!