Time and Magic

I have been having a problem with time lately.
Actually I have been having a problem with time for a while but in the past few weeks it has become really urgent and palpable.
It's not the lack of the time I am talking about but the mental construct of time.
That linear, ever-eluding, never ending and always chasing very constricting notion of Time.
That concept of Time is literally crushing me.

I ardently hold the belief that there are two simultaneous dimensions of time we are experiencing at all times. Yet we get stuck in one and from there on arise all these problems of duality and constnt struggle.
There is the  way the body experiences time, which is aligned with the cyclical and infinite nature of our soul. And then there is the mental construct of time- the looking at the clock and making appointments, and counting years and minutes and hours that leaves us living with no time for anything.

When actively and passionately grounded in the Body/ Soul Time, I shall call it, the Mental clock stops. It simply cannot function, because  it has nothing to latch on. It is in those moments that we experience  the Magic. And if we pay attention, if we are actively present with every breath and every beat of the heart, we can fall through the cracks of time, for each moment, each heartbeat  is the doorway to untold dimension and magical universes.
Each moment holds in itself an infinite number of possibilities. If we only look into it with seeing eyes.
And each breath we take is a doorway to an unlimited number of alternative universes. Actually, alternative is not the right word, because they all exist, all the the same time, all living, breathing and pulsating, vibrant all the time.
The challenge is to be acutely in the moment to be able to feel all this pulsating and vibrating energy and to surrender to the illogical, nonlinear, cyclical, magical power of the present moment. Each and every moment. With each and every breath.

And herein lies my challenge. Once you have tasted the freedom of floating in the moment and being touched by that Universal Magic, the linear 3D reality becomes very flat and uninspiring. And because I still exist here. And because I still have to deal, day to day, with that intricate and complex machine in my cranial cavity, called the brain, I sometimes get stuck in there.
I get literally stuck in this linear, flat, bizarre 3D world, and it is like I have been put in a stray jacket and thrown into a cell too small to fit all of my feathers. So I twist and turn and squirm trying to squeeze my self out through a keyhole.
And I hear all these vibrating, pulsating multidimensional energies whispering  my name and calling me back into them.
And I have to think hard of all the tools I have been given to free myself from that cage- breath, movement, sound, dance, closing my eyes and surrendering....
The stuckness is just another opportunity to enter into another dimension. One, I have not gained access into yet, because of my own resistance and unwillingness to explore those parts of the psyche. Because I have not yet learned to surrender. Without a fight. Yes, fighting is easy because you have the resistance to push into and to give you the sense of doing something. Surrendering is passive. Non doing. The hardest lesson yet.
Surrendering into the uncomfortable is the only way in. Letting go of control, or the illusion of control. A scary thought.... may be because there is no way back from that one. And as enticing as that sounds, when you stand at the edge of the mountain that single step forward is a whole new dimension in itself.

Being Witnessed

Our greatest Desire is to be witnessed.
Our greatest Fear is of being witnessed.

We live in this persistent and beautiful dichotomy.
We, as humans, are the one and only contradiction in the Universe.
We are Oneness, yet we experience Duality.
We are Oneness, yet we are duality.

This is too much for the little human brain to process.
It sounds illogical, nonlinear and drastically unscientific.

Well, I say, Logic is faulty by default. You figure it out.
We exist. We Love, we unravel, we  die and return back to the source. Back to the beginning. Which,a s it turns out is not a beginning at all. It is also the end. And it is also the center. It is everything and it is all happening right NOW. This very moment.
Let your brain sit with that and chew on it.
See if you can figure it out.
You can't.
The problem is time and space. you can't reconcile the underlying ambiguity while taking into consideration time and space. You are looking into  an illusion. And you can't see the truth while you choose to look at the illusion.

There is no logic to what I am saying. I can't "prove" any of it. There is no algorithm, no mathematical equation or some sort of 4D pretty picture to make you understand what I am saying.
It simply has to be experienced.
The Chaos, the rapture, the lack of boundaries.
The feeling of understanding everything and unconditionally loving everything with its glorious flaws.
Getting lost into  the crevices and folds of another human being, who is also a being of Light. Bringing tears into the eyes of those who you care most deeply about, simply because you want them to soar free, just as you see them.
Wanting to hide behind your flaws and to be witnessed as all that you are.
Untangling and experiencing  the little slithering threads of the Universe, only to understand that it is one giant snake.
 And that it has come to eat you.
And that you are the Snake.

The Ultimate and complete surrender. Do you dare loose yourself? Only to attain  that which your soul yearns for. Freedom.Union. Communion. Melting in the fire, sinking in giant gentle wings.

Does any of that make sense?

Those of you who know, who have tasted it, know what I am speaking about.

Mirrors

Not so many moons ago, it became clear to me that everyone and everything we come upon in life serves as a mirror. It is help send from other dimension, to aid us find our way through this chaos.
Whatever we see in those arounds is usually a reflection of our own image, something we couldn't see on our own.
The reflection and the shadow are in this constant game of hide and seek, one aspect becomes clear just to obscure another. It's an endless spiral.
As we learn to play this game it becomes more.... I wouldn't say enjoyable, but may be more entertaining.  We make sense of  the rules, just to discover that they no longer apply. We think we have dealt with something, just to see it come up again with more power and more depth. Most importantly, we learn not to take it so personally and seriously and we gain new tools along the way. It's the game of Life- of light and shadow in us.

Somehow our human psyche is trained to the "ugliness" first, however. The harder lessons are the first we learn. We tend not to believe the good things so readily.
It is always easier to see the dark in us, to believe the bad, to assume we are undeserving and not worthy. It is a  habit to  notice and to mirror that in others.

We forget to look into the beautiful mirrors around us.
There are the mirrors that reflect the shadows- they show us the things we want to rid ourselves of.
Yet there are the mirrors of the Beauty in us. So much harder to notice and to say " I am That too". The mirrors than inspire us to be more of our true selves.
The mirrors that inspire us to continue walking this path, not going where it is going.
The mirrors that blind us with so much Love and Light. And we are that too.
Yes, there are those who help us see ourselves as we truly are- magnificent birds spiraling in Light.

So if you look around you and see beautiful people around you, beings that mesmerize and awe you with their beauty know that you are that as well!

Rapture

For the longest time I have used this word, Rapture, not entirely knowing its correct meaning.
I like the taste of it in my mouth, there is something very sensual about the way it rolls around and drips off the tongue, like a sweet nectar.
I woke up in the early hours of the morning, with Rapture stuck in my head and piercing through my whole being.
What is rapture? The dictionary said it's joyful ecstasy... Words have been falling short in the past few weeks of expressing that which is inside me.
Rapture is the feeling of infinite, timeless bliss, the agony of sustaining it, of holding the intensity of the feeling it without giving in to the desire to contain it. To allow this impossible emotion to overtake you and annihilate the parts of you that no longer need to exist.
It's the Love, the joy, the rapture that blurs our boundaries and allows us to expand, to grow, to become more of us and experience the Union with Spirit.
It's the Love and compassion for another human being that transports us into other dimensions and realms, sprinkled with Magic and glistening with otherworldly joy. One that does not know the limits of the human experience.
Rapture is meeting your resistance, holding it and looking at it, experiencing it fully and then blasting through it, knowing that the only palpable barrier between you and the rest of the Universe are the walls you have built around yourself.
 The agony of the understanding and the ecstasy of feeling the web that intricately weaves us all together into One existence blended together. Rapture.

I am awake... Now what?

I am awake.... Now what?
It seems this awakening we are all longing for is not the end destination, the invaluable prize, the wholly grail.
It seems this wakening, we work so hard towards to is the just very first small step on a very steep stairway, to territories unknown.
To awaken means to be aware.
To be aware of the stories in our heads, to be aware of how we react to the daily fluctuations of the mind, to observe our mental chatter and while learning from those experiences to use our discernment as to what is real and what is a story.
Many... most of us are already awake. Yet we keep striving towards the awakening still, like puppies chasing their own end. We expected some serious boom-bang, heavenly lights and chimes to accompany our awakening, yet here we are each day squinting our eyes open and hoping the nightmare of being trapped in 3D is over. We keep hoping we have done the hard work, walked the spiritual path, paid our dues of service and now is time for the Divine Will and Light to take over and float us home on angel wings.
One tiny detail we forgot while srcambling to transcend our earthly condition is that we ARE the Divine Will. We are the Divine choosing to manifest as we are and it is our choice what we do with our awakened soul.
The trick of the whole game, I think, is that the soul, the Divine, the superconsciousness, whatever you want to call it, wants to awaken with the Mind, the human part of us still fully functioning. And while we have managed to awake and say " Here we are", we haven't totally accepted that we are in control now. Or in more human terms, we are avoiding the responsibility, still thinking small. Still accepting limitations.
The mind, because it is brilliant, has tricked us into continuing to play the game, even though the game is actually over. It will keep leading us to exotic places and illusionary worlds, until we shake off the doziness of our waking up and say, "Oh, I can just exit now." It is that simple.
And again, exiting, is not about leaving something behind and transcending into a new world where we just float around and exercise our magical powers at will.
By exiting we just drop the illusionary visions and narrow definitions of what is possible.
Anything is possible. We just haven't allowed ourselves to be totally convinced yet...