Fear

We are just a string of experiences, empty of meaning and void of permanence. We fight to perpetuate "ourselves " by creating patterns and telling stories to convince us that those patterns define is.

" Self" is just the story of "self" we create, and we become attached to that story, afraid that if we don't embody this image we have of ourselves, we will dissolve into nothingness.

The Truth is there was no "Self" to begin with. The boundaries of the "self" are mind-made: the separation between me and you, us and others, mine and yours are illusionary and created by the Ego in order to breathe into existence a separate indentity. In reality the separation does not exist.

We use everything- our day to day interactions and reactions to reinforce the story. We create likes and dislikes, excuses and attachments so we can hold onto something we believe is the self.

The patterns are easy to attach to and identify with because they provide predictability and safety- we know how we will react to the environment and how the environment will react to us.

Our fear is nothing but a reaction to something out of pattern.

Fear is our pattern towards the unkown.

Self-inquiry

What does it take to keep the stillness in the mind and in the rhythm of the breath throughout every day tasks?

Can we see out inhale and exhale as a ritual regardless of whether we are sitting in meditation, eating lunch or vigorously moving? What does it take to sustain the awareness?

Can we yoke our intention, the focus of our attention to the rhythm of the breath and keep it there no matter what distraction we encounter?

Which is easier to control-  mind or breath?

Which is the first to get distracted- mind or breathing?

By noticing and being curious about this process we are practicing svadhyaya- self-inquiry.

we are...

We are writing our own stories. 

We are the canvas that we paint on with our breath, with our love.

Fill me up with Love

Fill me up with love

I want no more hatred and anger and fear

Heal me

I want no more judgement and prejudice

In my heart

Fill me up with love

And let me share

With every other being

Let me love like you do

Without the shadow of doubt

Without condition

Heal me

Fill me up with love

Become the storm

Don't brace for the storm, embrace the storm. 

Become the Storm, powerful, uncontrolled, pure

Get hurt without becoming bitter. 

Get angry without becoming vengeful

Get jealous without being offended. 

Love without expectation or condition

Find joy even if there is no one around 

Be weak in front of a crowd. 

Don't revel in how much you know or what you know

Become humble 

Recognize the existence of another

Respect another's space and decision

Loose your self- importance

Loose your mind in the now

It is the only way to find home

To become one

To be light 

Wings of light

If we want to bring change into the world we must be first willing to work on ourselves.

We cannot bring light until we have gone deep into the dark and become the light itself.

The work in ourselves requires us to go deep into our psyche, deep into our soul, where we haven't been in ages. It asks of us to meet our deepest, darkest desires and fears, it calls to us from these places where we don't want to look. 

The work we need to do is embrace those parts of ourselves we deem disgraced, inappropriate  and shameful. Until we wrap our arms and our heart around the child scared to death, around the broken hearted soul, around the angry spirit and  fiery human mind that is always seeking validation we are not whole. And until we are whole we can't manifest change that is enough. 

Once we bridge the disconnect between mind and heart, between humanness and spirit, between reality and illusion in ourselves we can't do it for anyone else. 

Find the darkness, the resistance  and dive deep into it.  It is going to be uncomfortable, the mind is going to scream in terror and play tricks on you, invoking unearthly fears and unbearable pain. Stay with it and breathe, breathe so deep you get lost in your breath, in your darkness, in your resistance. 

Stay with it until you become one with that resistance, with that pain, with the ugliness in you. 

From the ashes of your illusions the light of your soul will shine. 

Like the raven that has gone into the deepest void, where the light  is born and is bringing it out on its wings. 

Attachments of the mind

Within the walls of the mind nothing exists but attachment and suffering. 

To Rise above the limitations, drop the chains and  breaks the wall of the universe we have created for ourselves, we need to reach for the Love in our hearts. 

The Love in the heart is limitless, the Light of the eternal soul is infinite, it cannot be contained. 

Reside in the heart, ride the wind with the soul and exist in this boundless joy and Love. 

Our work

Our work is to shine a light and touch everyone with Love, without seeking recognition. 

Our service is to bathe every soul in pure love, no matter the resistance. 

And even if we are doomed to fail, we are gona burn ourselves dancing and singing the vibrations of Love.....Blazing into eternal nothingness

Prayer

Mother, forgive me my mistakes, so I may forgive myself. 

Allow me to find compassion in my heart, compassion and Love for my own self. 

Allow me to know and honor my own self-worth. 

Allow me to rest on my own strength, stand on my own two feet, allowing myself to Love and be Loved endlessly and without judgements, conditions and inhibitions. 

Love to learn

To love is to learn, when we close off to Love we stop learning...

This soul breathes

Strip me down 

Naked and hungry

Cold in the 

Middle of winter

Blind

In the darkest of night

Strip me down

Lonely and bleeding

Barely living

In the shadows of doubt

Strip me down

To nothing

But raw emotion

And yearning

To be held

Still the Sun 

Will rise tomorrow

To lift me up from my stillness

As long as this soul breathes

With this body

Love will keep this heart beating

And light spiraling 

Underneath my skin

The matrix of Love

I don't wish to be perfect

I don't want fame or power

I don't long for money, jewels, or castles

I have no need to be feared, revered or honored

I have no desire for higher purpose or enlightenment 

I simply want to know 

What it feels to surrender

To the matrix of Love

The shadow self

We are taught to ignore and shut of our shadow side from the moment we are born. 

We are told it's not ok to cry, it's not ok to be angry, it's not ok to be by ourselves. 

Even before we can conceptualize where we are and what we are to do here, we are cultured to be a good boy or a good girl, to be on our best behavior. And what does that mean?

Not to look in the deep holes in the ground so we don't fall, not to climb a tree so we don't rip our pants, not to dig in the mud so we don't get black under our fingers.  

Not to talk to strengers, or get messy with paint, not to walk naked around the house..... Who is the arbitrer of what is good and what is not?

It seems as long as we fit into mainstream we are good and if we want to go around the corner and poke in the shadows we are wrong. 

Very early on we are conditioned to grow and nurture only one side of our personality, we are disconnected and left yearning to be whole again. 

And those parts of us that are burried and chained to the floor of our souls are fighting for life and causing trouble since they have no other form of expression. 

We have come into the light of our earthly existence, and forgotten about our darkness...

And how can the light shine when there is no darkness?

We loose our shine, our glamour, our joy, we become dull and one dimensional,walking around the endless of circle of logic and reason. 

We mourn and long for our shadow self, and the rare moments of unity happen in secret, when no one is looking, so we don't offend someone's eyes. 

We suppress the way we feel, deny ourselves what we want, choke our words before they spill out of our mouths, and suffocate our dreams before they can fully form into ideas. 

We have become walking zombies, and it's ok as long as we are "good". 

And in the meantime our shadow self is growing weaker and weaker and slowly dying, so that even when it manages to cut through the rightousness  of our every day dealings, it is just a pathetic resemblance of it's original glory. 

There will be no "lived happily ever after" when the shadow self dies, that would simply be the end of all of it. 

Don't try to stuff the "bad" witch or the fire- breathing dragon in the closet in the basement, let them breathe, let them out and watch the magic return to our lives. 

The pitfall of emotions

Don't fall in the pitfall of emotions.
"I can't help the way I feel"! is something we say so often, and yet is it true?
Emotions that arise as a reaction to someone's behavior are learned.
The reaction, the way we feel is just as much engraved and conditioned in our mind as the way we think and perceive the world.
Culturally, we have been molded into not only thinking but feeling a certain way.
Anger, frustration, hopelessness, embarrassment, unworthiness, guilt, they are all tools meant to keep us in the chains of our mind.
Once we fall in the pitfall of the learned emotion, the whole machinery of the mind starts spinning, dragging us under with our patterned behavior.
Beware, and when you feel a negative emotion pulling you under, where you can't catch your breath, say "No, that is not really the way I feel. It's just the way I think I should feel".
All I feel is Love and it is as bright as the Sun and anything else is like a storm cloud trying to cover the brightness of the sunlight, all it is is a shadow...
Observe and learn and don't let patterned emotions pull in the vortex of hopelessness.

Eternal, Endless Love

Oh, I love the way you are guiding me

I embrace your shining light

I am drinking from a fountain

Of eternal, endless Love 

I am walkng  through your valleys

Flying high up in the sky

I am singing over mountains

Of eternal, endless Love

How you guide me through my darkness

How you hold me in my pain

Singing softly in my ear

Till the sun has come again

Gracious Mother, hold me tight

Guide me gently through the night

I surrender mind and soul

To eternal, endless Flow.  

Evil

All "evil" is  just a shadow, a wrinkle in the mind that prevents the light from shining there. 

Release the obstiction and see there is nothing but infinite light. 

Balance

Balance is what we are after. But balance doesn't only mean an equal portion of each force. It also means that as the portions are made equal, the new, balanced combination gains momentum and begins to move by itself.