I have been having a problem with time lately.
Actually I have been having a problem with time for a while but in the past few weeks it has become really urgent and palpable.
It's not the lack of the time I am talking about but the mental construct of time.
That linear, ever-eluding, never ending and always chasing very constricting notion of Time.
That concept of Time is literally crushing me.
I ardently hold the belief that there are two simultaneous dimensions of time we are experiencing at all times. Yet we get stuck in one and from there on arise all these problems of duality and constnt struggle.
There is the way the body experiences time, which is aligned with the cyclical and infinite nature of our soul. And then there is the mental construct of time- the looking at the clock and making appointments, and counting years and minutes and hours that leaves us living with no time for anything.
When actively and passionately grounded in the Body/ Soul Time, I shall call it, the Mental clock stops. It simply cannot function, because it has nothing to latch on. It is in those moments that we experience the Magic. And if we pay attention, if we are actively present with every breath and every beat of the heart, we can fall through the cracks of time, for each moment, each heartbeat is the doorway to untold dimension and magical universes.
Each moment holds in itself an infinite number of possibilities. If we only look into it with seeing eyes.
And each breath we take is a doorway to an unlimited number of alternative universes. Actually, alternative is not the right word, because they all exist, all the the same time, all living, breathing and pulsating, vibrant all the time.
The challenge is to be acutely in the moment to be able to feel all this pulsating and vibrating energy and to surrender to the illogical, nonlinear, cyclical, magical power of the present moment. Each and every moment. With each and every breath.
And herein lies my challenge. Once you have tasted the freedom of floating in the moment and being touched by that Universal Magic, the linear 3D reality becomes very flat and uninspiring. And because I still exist here. And because I still have to deal, day to day, with that intricate and complex machine in my cranial cavity, called the brain, I sometimes get stuck in there.
I get literally stuck in this linear, flat, bizarre 3D world, and it is like I have been put in a stray jacket and thrown into a cell too small to fit all of my feathers. So I twist and turn and squirm trying to squeeze my self out through a keyhole.
And I hear all these vibrating, pulsating multidimensional energies whispering my name and calling me back into them.
And I have to think hard of all the tools I have been given to free myself from that cage- breath, movement, sound, dance, closing my eyes and surrendering....
The stuckness is just another opportunity to enter into another dimension. One, I have not gained access into yet, because of my own resistance and unwillingness to explore those parts of the psyche. Because I have not yet learned to surrender. Without a fight. Yes, fighting is easy because you have the resistance to push into and to give you the sense of doing something. Surrendering is passive. Non doing. The hardest lesson yet.
Surrendering into the uncomfortable is the only way in. Letting go of control, or the illusion of control. A scary thought.... may be because there is no way back from that one. And as enticing as that sounds, when you stand at the edge of the mountain that single step forward is a whole new dimension in itself.
