So, Anger

So, anger, yes, Anger.
There is a lot to be said about anger.
Where  do I even begin?
We have been taught, that Anger is no good. That it should be controlled, repressed and curtailed as to not hurt anyone. That we should be afraid of it.
But then where do we put it? What do we do with it if we are not to express it?
How are we to control it when it threatens to annihilate our own existence.

So many emotions are swirling in the air right now. Sadness, grief, shock at the despicable. I feel them all.
But most of all I feel the Anger.
The Anger is boiling in my veins.
And I want to do nothing to curtail it or make it small.
I want to feed it. Hold it.  And sustain it.

I want to see it give birth to something. Something new. A change. A radical change.

Sometimes I feel like a revolutionary without a cause.
Sometimes I feel so small.

Sometimes I am crushed under the enormity of everything that is wrong in this world.
And my inability to change it. Yes, change the World...so silly of me.

Sometimes, I am just brought to my knees  by the beauty of humanness.

But Back to Anger.

I have started to notice that there is beauty in anger too.
Lots of it.

Pure, white seething, destruction seeking Rage.  Rage that seeks to uncover and protect the Truth.
Because it has been too long since we have stared Truth in the eye.

The Truth is the System is broken. And we are doing nothing to change it.

So Yes, I am angry about what happened in Orlando.
But I am also angry that that's what it takes for us to say something is not right.
Nothing is right! Yet may be I am a little too radical.

I am Angry that people have labels, that there are these defining lines that say I belong here and you belong there and may be I like you but you are still over there. The only definition we can try to squeeze in is HUMAN. And at this point even this is questionable.

When I love you, I don't love you because of your nationality, color, gender identity or sexual preference. I don't Love you because you went so a fancy school or have a cool job, I don't Love you because of where you buy your shoes or the brand of beer you drink. I love you because you are you. Because you make my heart sing. And YOU, your essence, cannot be fit into a word. YOU cannot be defined. ME cannot be defined.
How do you define where I end and You begin.

And this is why I am Angry. We Have exchanged our authenticity for labels and definitions.
We have lost ourselves.

We allow this broken system to run our lives and we do nothing.
We post rants and moving pictures on social media, we speak angry words, and sign petitions... and we continue our little lives just as they are. Nothing has really changed.
In a few weeks this too will subside, until the next time and the next time and the next time.... for how long?

I don't wish for Bandaids, for littles fixes here and there that cover the bigger leaks.

I want change. I want radical change.
What does that look like? I have no clue.

This is where I get lost. And I become even more Angry, because I see the problem and don't know how to fix it.
So here I am seething in Anger and at a loss for action.

But may be Anger is not all about doing and fixing. Sometimes may be Anger just wants to be witnessed and acknowledged. May be any action right now will be premature.... I don't have answers.

Only questions. And, yes that is infuriating too.

I imagine that Anger is a wild stallion. And it will run me down and trample me, unless...
Unless I grab the reins and ride it like the wind.

I don't claim I am in control but I am also not willing to shrink in fear of the anger any more.
I let the wildness, the rage, the storm carry me and show me that which needs to be witnessed.
Take me where I have not dared go before.

Because this Anger is not from yesterday. It is ancient, it old and it is embedded in our psyche.
So how long  can we pretend it is not there?

The Change  I want is not out there.
The change is in us.
That feeling of me versus the other, the separation, the defining lines, that is the wall that needs to be broken down and deconstructed. So we can all be Human together.
And may be then I will find those who have the answers to my questions. May be they were looking for the questions all along.
May be then I will know what to do with my Anger.
May be then we will know how to hold each other in authenticity.

May be when I sit and witness my Anger without Fear, then I can do the the same with yours.

Or may be I am just a incurable idealist, lost in a dream.

Become the storm

Don't brace for the storm, embrace the storm. 

Become the Storm, powerful, uncontrolled, pure

Get hurt without becoming bitter. 

Get angry without becoming vengeful

Get jealous without being offended. 

Love without expectation or condition

Find joy even if there is no one around 

Be weak in front of a crowd. 

Don't revel in how much you know or what you know

Become humble 

Recognize the existence of another

Respect another's space and decision

Loose your self- importance

Loose your mind in the now

It is the only way to find home

To become one

To be light 

Isn't it time

We have poisoned our rivers so we can trap water in plastic bottles
We have cut down forests of trees to build factories that pollute the air
We have imprisoned Mother Earth under concrete so we can go run on treadmills
We have advanced our minds so much we forgot where we come from
We have mutilated our nourishment and starved our soul
We have forgotten about healing and obsess about silencing the symptoms
We have devoted our time to being alone with a plasma screen
We have dedicated our lives to jobs we can't stand, making money to spend on things we don't need
We are raising our kids by bribes and threats
We rage against the system, yet we support it with our blood and sweat, with our precious time
We have closed our eyes to all the ills of our society so we can look towards the spiritual path of enlightenment
Where are we headed?
Spirit is not somewhere out in space awaiting us to glow like a lightbulb
Spirit is right here with us on this Earth, witnessing us tripping ourselves and scratching its head as to how long can this possibly go on for...
Isn't it time we just stopped?
No longer give our strength to that which we wish to be free from....

Project Sagittarius

With the  glorious sun moving into the fire sign of Sagittarius, the seeker of the truth I start a new  project, or rather a new practice.

This glyph of the Archer symbolizes the desire for direction, a higher purpose, and abundance. 

Sagittarius represents  our attempt to free ourselves from man's animal nature.

I start the practice of paying close attention to my actions and identifying what comes from the heart and what comes from the Ego.

And each time I make a note and remind myself how I could have acted or expressed myself differently.

It doesn't have to be drastic, one little thing each day. Could be as simple as smiling at someone who doesn't like me, or yielding the right of way down the train when I am in a rush, not eating the last cookie in the jar, or apologizing first.

Start knowing what comes from the heart and what comes from the mind and making a conscious choice each moment.

This is my practice, this is my prayer.

Feel free to join me and share your experience

It is the small steps that make the journey.

Temple

Habits, rituals, prayers.... we all like to build a safe space somewhere where we can retreat during the storms of life.
Sometimes we forget though, that the safest space is being with ourselves.
The most sacred temple is the body that carries us on this journey, each step is a prayer and the only candle we would ever need is the flame of our own heart.

The Ancient force in us

The old vibrations of struggle no longer bring results, in fact they never did but we were to blind to see. 

The warrior mode is no longer enough. 

The fighter is just one aspect of us and that is no longer enough. 

Dig deeper, look into the deepest, darkest vortex of the soul to find its counterpart- the Priestess, the Goddess, the Magician. 

We all have it, we just put those aspects of us on the side so we can bear the hardship of life. 

Well, bearing is no longer enough!

We now need to rise above the mundane and find our song, find our joy, find our ecstasy! 

Marry the warrior and the goddess in one- our true self, inseparable from the universe!

The two counterparts, the opposites, the twin flames, they are not without, they are within, waiting for eons and eons to be united. 

Find that soft, gentle, yet powerful force in us, that knows, that feels, that summons, that runs wild. 

Summon the Mother within, the Ancient one, the Wise one, that incredible force that has been dormant for too long. 

And let the warrior hang his sword, rest his sorrow on the her shoulder and weep rivers of pain for what he has seen. 

And when the anguish is gone, he can see his clear reflection in her, for they are one and the same, all within us and all around us. 

Union

When mind and heart unite to follow one's true path a powerful union is formed.
We are no longer lured into distraction, we are no longer attached to wants and whims, we are no longer afraid of what may or may not be.
We walk the path with a light heart and a song on our lips.
We feel the power reeking through every fiber of our being.
We are as light as sound and as bright as light and no obstacle can stand in our way.
No lower vibration can withstand the strength of our will.
We trust our own wisdom and the wisdom of the Universe.

When mind and heart unite into one's true passion duality ceases to exist.
Once the mind and the heart are one we are one whole being, embracing the feminine and the masculine, the light and the dark,  power and weakness, fear and strength, the yin and the yang, within us, all working for one purpose.

A powerful union within ourselves that unites us with Infinity.

Sit with the pain

I am sitting on the edge of insanity
Riding the razor- thin line of control
Let it flow
Sit with the pain
Yours and mine
Its irrelevant
Sit with the pain
Dwell on it
Taste it
and smell it
Let it take you over the edge.
Riding wild waves of ecstasy
Painfully honest
Brutally lonely
Sit with the pain
Burn with the fire within
Disappear in the abyss of ashes
Only to rise again
With the sun.

On wings of love

I sail across the veil
On wings of love
Like night and day
I chase myself
Always longing to unite
I come and go
I see and then I'm blind
I feel and then I am numb
I know and then forget
Eternal maze of self obstruction
Can't find my place on earth
I don't belong into another world
I am the shadow of the day turning into night
The last kiss of the sun onto the ocean
I am the sunrize on a drop of dew
Eternally waiting
Eternally guarding
The traveler's soul.
Waiting for one
To help me bridge the gap
To help me lift the veil
Bathe Mother in beatiful light...

In our duality we are whole

In our duality we are whole.
Embrace both parts of ourselves, erasing the imaginary line we have drawn to limit ourselves.
The separation only exist in the mind- labeled right and wrong, good and bad, light and dark.
In truth that line doesn't exist.
The separation doesn't exist.
The limit is only in the mind.
For one polarity can't live without the other and they are both a part of one.
Unite our oppositions, embrace our inner soulmate that we have left in exile for eons of time.
Recognize who we are, without judgement or resentment, without anger or shame.
We are already whole, we just need to look inside and accept it.

The thruth is a process

We all know ourselves, we just can't accept it yet.
The journey of the souls is not that of knowing itself- it already knows the truth.
The journey of the soul is to accept its limitations in the physical body and to work within those limitations.
We are born of light , yet in order to grow into our limitlessness we choose to come in this beautiful world and experience.
Experience joy, fear, pain, ecstasy, humiliation and anger, sadness and .... to experience everything.
As much as the body is a limitation to our endless abilities it is a great commodity.

The journey is a process.
We don't just walk down the street to pick up our package of truth and then live it.
At every step of the way we see a different part of who are, and at every step we believe that to be our true self.
The question is: How deep are we willing to go?
At each step we can stop and say: this is where I wish to reside for this life time.
Yet there is always another layer that can be peeled off, another step we can take.

Comfort is not the place where we can grow. Comfort is like a vista. We can take a breath, rest out head for a moment and look at the scenery.
Examine the landscape and see how much further we can go.
And just like the vista we think we can see the big picture... only to stop at the next place and see a completely different story.

Don't let discouragement seep through.
One scene does not negate the other, it simply lets us see more, integrate better, until we accept all that we are and remember our truth.

Audible Change

If you feel stagnant or think things don't change look back a year...
Remember where you were, what you were doing, what you were wearing what your plans, dreams, hopes and goals were.
Examine how you were back then, what was your mood, what were your thoughts, who were you?

And now fast forward to the present moment.
Who are you now?
How do you feel, what are your plans, hopes and dreams?
Where are yow now? And how is that different from where you thought you were gonna be a year ago?

If you feel no difference no difference in who you were then it's time to change...

But most likely there is  a difference in you.... not in the way you dress may be, or the place you live, or the job you do.
But inside of you.. somewhere deep where only you can reach... a place that is not on display for others.

Be brave and show that change to the world today...

and Remember: Personality is a process..