My Evolution

Yes I have been there- when I couldn't look the other in the eye and say what my heart wanted to say. Am I afraid and running? I keep searching for what my heart believes to be true.
Some sort of feeling to make me humble, forgiving, compassionate. The feeling that dissolves the ego.
I don't need to fight it. I don't need to kill it.
When I taste love the illusion of the ego simply dissolves into thin air.
Love is tied into everything. Love is the one so often missing component of our journey of self exploration
We believe to be so brave in our search for truth, stepping over people and causing pain. But we don't stop to love. We never stop and say " wait, this person's feelings are more important than mine". That is the ultimate death of the ego.

From that the Ego cannot rise again.
Everything else is just a temporary exile
The ego simply comes back, may be in a different shape and form. And stronger than before. Because we are convinced that we are the most important. That all there is  is the I.
The only illusion in this world is the I.  I can't exist without you. I only exist through others. So I give all I have. All the  passion and love and trust and pain and fears. Do not hold anything back.
It is beautiful. It is pure joy. The biggest gift we were given is the ability to love selflessly.
But we have chosen to ignore that ability.
We always want something in return.
Whether it's to be loved back or appreciated. Something is demanded. And that kills the feeling.
Pure Love.  It has no goal, no objective.
It needs no validation.
But we are afraid to let ourselves feel it because we afraid we won't be loved back. And we will look like fools.
Such a silly fear.
How can one look foolish for giving it all. It is the person that is shying away from that feeling that is being foolish. That has condemned himself to suffering
Are we willing to look like fools for love?
That is the ultimate question. Because that is where the ego doesn't stand a chance.
There is nothing to be ashamed of. Be foolish, go to the extreme, beg, go down on your knees and beg. Because if we are not able to do that we are too proud and the ego is gripping us tight.
It is a shame that so many of us go through life never experiencing the sweet surrender of love.
We only find the illusion of love. Some pitiful substitute that we parade around proudly.
It is a medal. A medal that  says: " I am not me. I am my ego." and we don't even realize it.
So foolish.

All my love is scattered to the edges of the universe.
But the gift I give is often returned. Sometimes rummaged through and wrinkled, sometimes worn, sometimes unopened.
That doesn't kill the hope in me.
It doesn't kill the love in me.
Even if I have given just a glimpse of love it is enough.
So I go on searching.
And if I never am able to give it all away. I know I have given all I can.  I haven't given up. I haven't shrunk away in fear.
And I have learned.
I am always learning how to love.
It is my own evolution.